The S#!t Show that was Sunday

Now that I’m a couple days removed, I can laugh at myself a little.

Sunday…was brutal. Talk about death march.
I felt like a complete sh!t show.
Thankfully I only felt this way, not WAS this way.
In the process of trying to figure out why I was hurting so much, I played internet doctor and now know where my appendix and gallbladder are located. Good news, the pain source wasn’t at either of those locations.
I also realized that I need to change my living will. (I realized this before I realized where my appendix was. While in a fever-induced delirium, I was concerned my stabbing pain was appendicitis.)
I was laying on the couch in fetal position, whimpering, thinking…ok, if I go to the ER…who do I call? Who is my emergency contact? F#(k, I need to change my will. Katie gets all my sh!t (You’re welcome). I need to write this down. I don’t want to get up to get a pen and paper. I don’t even think I CAN get up to get a pen and paper. They’ll just have to take dictation in the ambulance. Mooooaaaaannnn. Whimper.
I’m not kidding about the whimpering. It was PATHETIC. If there were drunk kids milling about, they would have vine’d me like nobody’s business. I would be almost asleep (I think) and wake up to whimpering sounds even I didn’t know I made.
Plus side: I cleaned the toilet on Saturday.
Negative: It now needs to be cleaned again.
Plus side: Really awesome diet.
Negative: If you enjoy hurling your favorite comfort foods and convulsing like the girl from The Exorcist.
Plus side: Good workout from all muscles being tensed while in a feverish shake all day.
Negative: You feel like you were pummeled by a MMA fighter the next day.
Oh, did I mention, while all of this was going on, my dog ate the head off of a dead bird? Yeah, that happened.
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