TED Thursday: The world of online dating

I came across this TED talk today. A girl, recently out of a relationship, who loves data and connecting the dots and makes a mean timeline. She’s a planner. Any of that sound familiar?

I found myself laughing out loud at a couple parts, loving how she broke down the system to find what she needed. The talk is hilarious. Give it a listen.

As I’ve talked to friends, most of whom are happily married, about the re-entry to the single world…they are at a loss for advice on how to meet guys. You can’t just stroll across the Quad or go to a new class next semester and hope you find a cutie worth getting to know. And most of these happily married friends? Have friends who are happily married. So they can’t troll their friends for possible dates for me, either. Time and time again, their answers were “what about online dating?”

There are so many thoughts that come to mind with that simple question. Because it doesn’t feel so simple. Which site would I choose? Where do I even begin when it comes to setting up a profile? How much/how little information do I tell? What happens when no one emails/pokes/responds/messages/(insert whatever it is you do to chat on online dating because I’m so clueless here) me?

This lady took those frustrations and her skillset and made it work for her. It’s hilarious…and ingenious. While I don’t plan on engineering a handful of fake profiles, I applaud her for doing the legwork. And the moral of the story is: the legwork paid off. Sometimes, alright – most times, boys are dumb and they need help putting their shoes on, let alone finding someone who could conceivably become a life partner – so the creepy fake profiles seem less creepy when it pays off. Alright, the shoes are probably an overstatement, but I bet every girl reading this is nodding her head.

It all seems laughable to me.

[Find site]

[Create account with boringly literal or strangely funny username to lure boys]

[Insert picture]

[Add stupid quip that continues to attract said boys]

I’m pretty sure “Divorcee with dog and no steady income” is not the product of the algorithm that ends in my favor. That is not the milkshake that brings the boys to the yard.

I’m also pretty sure that my list would have at least 72 data points.

But what I do know FOR A FACT…is that I have awesome friends who will remind me along the way that he is out there and I just have to keep living and working and someday my man of action will show up.

Bring it, dating world. Smileygirl1978 ain’t got nothin’ on this milkshake*.

*In fact, it appears she hasn’t even seen a milkshake in awhile.

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Another’s brave journey

A dear friend lost his job today. I know this blog is about me and my journey, but so much of me is given strength by the close knit group of friends I am lucky to have (see here and here) – so for me, his journey is my journey. As he is my friend, I am his. And today I feel for him.

I almost don’t know where to begin; all of the thoughts seem to be swirling like an unkempt merry-go-round, tumbling around with the mismatched clothes in the dryer (because why the hell would a merry-go-round be in the dryer? My point exactly. Bag o’ cats up there). I pained that I didn’t know how to come to his aid today, and I myself have heard – and been frustrated by – too much of “I know how you feel” lately to be able to utter those words to him as he shared the news with his friends. I’ve had to leave a job, many jobs in fact, in the past because of military moves, but have yet been stationary and without. So I don’t, truly, know how it feels. I found myself wanting to say it, and bit my tongue as we spoke. Remembering how those words felt like a hot hand on my cheek when others said them to me.

But I empathize nonetheless.

The world of architecture right now, and in recent years, is not an easy one. While most of the nation struggled/struggles under a max 8% unemployment rate, architecture has been almost double that at times – and still sits above the national average. Even so, he is a talented architect. He is goal-oriented and attuned to details. He is so worthy of a blessed future and I can only imagine how downtrodden he feels tonight.

He is one to always see the design in things, how something relates to another. Another friend described him recently as “the big picture” guy. When I saw this quote today, I immediately thought of him.

I hope he realizes the support structure he has. His family. His friends. His peers. I hope he realizes his value to the profession. I hope he sees this as a chance to redirect the journey, rather than a collapsed bridge. I have many hopes, but mostly I hope he finds peace in the unsettled moments, both now and in the immediate future.

I know he is a believer, so I will end with this, because no one ever says it better than He does.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

We’re all in your corner. Know that, if you know anything.

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Friday Fun-day

With both a mix of inspiration and fun, I welcome Friday. Today is the Sara Bareilles concert – holla!!!

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Thursday Video: A diamond, a rose, a most precious material

A military friend sent me this the other day. It’s amazing how God speaks to you. This video is a reminder I need to give myself daily.

I am beautiful. I am smart. I am funny. I am kind. I am unique.

I am worthy. I am worthy of being treated like the most precious of gems.

I am worthy of a love and affection most powerful.

I am.

And until I am blessed with that love in this human life, I am secure in the knowledge that I have that love in Him. Unconditional. Unfailing. Without hesitation or question.

He gave me strength, and still loves me in my weakest moments. He gave me talent, and still loves me when I’m silly. He gave me a great love to give. A great love worthy of loving.

While I seek to find that person in me, those characteristics, again – the strength, the love, the talent, the kindness, the patience – I have hope because I know He already sees it. While I journey to find a person to share my life and my love with, a person who will love me as God loves me, who will show me happiness in the darkest of days and be my partner, my equal in my life’s adventures – I have faith because I know He already sees not just the journey, but the destination.

I am awesome.

And when I forget it, I have awesome friends to remind me. I have me to remind me. I have HIM to remind me.

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Over the Rainbow

Today’s Music Wednesday is brought to you by a (relatively) new lady to the broadly known singing world, or at least a new face to me, and I’m so glad I found her. Yet another strong vocalist with meaningful lyrical capabilities. I present to you Alyssa Bonagura.

The song is “Over the Rainbow”, on her new album, and is a lullaby about dreams that get followed coming true. It seems, especially considering yesterday’s “Rainbows of the future” post, particularly meaningful. The lyrics are as follows:

Over the rainbow waiting for you
Is everything you’ve ever dreamed of.
Beyond the rainbow, beyond the clouds
You can have it all. Anything you want.
You have the choice
You have the time
To have a voice
To make it right
So don’t give in
When things get grim
You can make your own sunshine
Find the truth, forget the lies
All you have to do is believe in you
Over the rainbow waiting for you
Is everything you’ve ever dreamed of.
Why can’t you send me over the rainbow
You can have it all, anything you want.
You have the choice
You have the time
To have a voice
To make it right
So don’t give in
When things get grim
You can make your own sunshine
Find the truth, forget the lies
All you have to do is believe in you
Over the rainbow
Over the rainbow
Waiting for you…
 
I think it’s important for me to remember that I can do anything. I have the time to figure out what I want; the ability to follow my dreams and search out the rainbows. I have the ability to make my own sunshine and my own happiness, after so many months without it.

This bright future is mine.

And that? That’s awesome.

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Rainbows of the future

“Be thou the rainbow in the storms of life. The evening beam that smiles the clouds away, and tints tomorrow with prophetic ray.” – Lord Byron

On the way back to Indy, somewhere in Arizona or New Mexico, I drove through a storm. Not a horrible one, but one that gets your attention. And “drove through” isn’t correct, so much as “followed”. It seemed to pop up and move the same speed and direction as I was driving. Driving in rain, in a long U-Haul, is not the best of life’s experiences. However because of this parallel path, I got to follow a rainbow for about 75 miles. It was the best 75 miles of the trip.

I snapped a picture or two and sent it to two friends, who promptly pointed out the awesome symbolism of a rainbow leading me to better things. That these rough moments too shall pass. And that, as they both said, there’s “LOTS of love waiting” for me to arrive in Indy.

I’ve been so blessed with such a good group of friends to stand by me as I move into this new chapter of my life. I am so thankful for their friendship. They are proof positive of the rainbows that await my future. That life is meant to be loved, enjoyed, and spent happy. That I am meant to be loved and happy. They prove that.

“Dare to love yourself as if you were a rainbow with gold at both ends.” – Aberjhani

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Friday Fun-day

The beginnings of what I hopes to be a continual post of fun things every Friday. Sometimes they’ll be inspiring, sometimes they’ll be funny. Enjoy!

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